Jack Daniel's

A Special Sign.

2009-08-18T21:10:00.005+08:00

Well, I'm gonna write about this dream I just had. It's just so unbelievably true, it feels like it really did happen. It was like any other day, was out with my girlfriend to a dinner/party. However not only was my girlfriend with me, my entire group of friends and family was as well. Nothing really out of the ordinary is it? This is where it started becoming a nightmare. When we entered the ballroom or club not sure which it is, my girlfriend left me to have chats with other people in the place, pressumbly her friends. I was chilling out with some of my mates having some chats and drinks, nothing really special worth mentioning, but after 1 hour, I realised my girlfriend was missing, I panicked, I couldn't find her anywhere in the place. I ran all over, people started asking me what happened but I just shun them and continued searching. I kept telling myself, this couldn't be happening to me. Then one of my mate dashed to me and told me, your girl is with her ex-boyfriend now, and my heart just sank all the way to hell. The moment that the news was broken to me, I stopped the search and gave up. I told my friends that, I was gonna let her choose her own partner. I stood by the entrance of the place and look at the sea which surrounded the place, it was getting dark.

Then my mom appeared to me, and thus began one of the most unbelievable moment of my entire experience. Mom said, boy " You know you want here, then you should go for her, find her. Standing here, isn't helping anything. It just adds to the misery. " I replied her, that I do not want to be fighting over someone that has lost all the love she had for me. Mom replied " No matter whats your decision, I will always be here to support you " Followed by the sweetest kiss by mommy on my cheek. That made my mind up before I could even start considering my options, I gathered my 20 plus mates and told them, don't stop till you find her. We ran riot all over the place, looking for answers from people who have seen her. Then one of my mate ran to me and said " I found her ". She's in the sea near the shore with her ex bf. I ran to the shore, and saw exactly what my friend had described. I stood there in disbelieve, but to me surprise, my baby ran out of the water to hug me. I gently returned the hug and whispered into her ear " I thought I lost you baby, have I? ". She said she felt the exact same way and things were never gonna work out with her ex. She didn't let go of me, and told me how much she loved me and would never bear to let me go. I was astonished by this vast change of happenings, there was the sense of doubt, that she was just doing all "this" so as to be guilt-free. We kissed, and I brought her to somewhere that was quiet with no one around, not really sure where it is though. We stayed side by side throughout the night and spoke about all the things that happen.

I told her how worried I was and that I got my entire group of people to start a wild search for her, she didn't reply, she placed her head on my shoulder. I hugged on to her as though we haven't see each other for years. Everything was smooth then. We still dated, went out together. This Nightmare experience had turned into the sweetest dream I ever had. Baby, I know you have always mentioned that you truly do love me, I have always said the same but never had the true feelings of it. Tonight, this feeling I'm having right now, has given me the ability to say this 3 but overused word. I finally know what you really mean to me, all this was just like a sign from above.

I Love You Chanel.

Cathy

2008-06-13T00:12:00.003+08:00

I have to quote something from her blog "It's hurting me but what can I do?" referring to her breakup with her bf, but the catch is, It really really pains me to see her writting that. She is hurting as hell with this breakup and if anyone for a sec thought that I'm loving their breakup is wrong. It may give me a chance to be with her but to see her being in pain, pains me just as much. what can I do? I want a chance to be with her, yet I don't want to see her the way she is. pull yourself through, I know you can. I'll be praying for you.

Finish This

2008-06-12T14:57:00.002+08:00

sup, haven't been blogging for ages, didn't have the time and nothing much to post about.

Well, I wouldn't believe this but, in just a blink of an eye. I've already waited for her for 6 months. It's a feeling I've never ever experienced. true enough I've kept by my promise of waiting. deep in me, I really hoping for something to happen in the end of the road, but then again, I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

It appears that their relationship has been going smooth, no idea about whats happening on the back of it though.

Just realised now that she had broken up with him. Supposed to be great news, but somehow I get this kind of wierd feeling that tells me that it isn't the right time to go for her.

ciao and thanks for the time.
Jerome,

I'm the one that wants to be with you, deep inside I hope you feel it too.

It's another long one

2008-05-20T00:05:00.002+08:00

sup, this is gonna be a long one. I've just read something on her blog that has given me a tinkling feeling.

she wrote a long part which was on her love for her bf, and she felt that it seemed like forever even though it was less than a month. Ironicly, there was this part where she claimed that she would give up the relationship if he had fallen for another girl because she felt her duty was to put a smile on his face.

okay, down to my point. Many people believed if you really loved someone, you would want him/her to be with someone they love? Personally, Fuck that. I never believe in that all my life. You love that person, fuck you want to be the one to pamper and shower that person with your love not someone else doing that for you. agree so far?

well even I myself have no idea why I'm posting this post for the front that I'm doing so. cause reading a post of her giving up the relationship is something that my inner self wants very much to happen, but why am I posting otherwise. My mates know as hell how much I've fallen for this girl, I want her more than anything, but it's the way that she wrote it that pains me. She giving up the relationship if he fancied another girl? I'm delighted but yet puzzled.

someone who is selfless is someone worth admiring. If she were to be my gf, I would never give her up because she fancied someone else, I would fight harder to keep her. Though all that, I still want you more than anything in the world right now. that's why you are special. I've said what I wanted. Cheers for the time.

Muchas Gracia,
ciao,
Jerome

Life / Death

2008-05-13T10:29:00.004+08:00

when we fall sick we wanna get better aye? but apparently I wanna "leave" so that I won't have to fucking endure it. God, Take Me.

The Scientist

2008-05-06T15:42:00.006+08:00

Just learned how to play " The Scientist " by Coldplay on my piano.

Really good song, lyrically and everything.

Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said that it would be this hard

I'm going back to the start.

Cheers,
Jerome

I'm going off the rails on a CRAZY TRAIN

2008-05-04T10:42:00.005+08:00

sup, it's been a long and painful week for me, we got the very unfortunate loss of Liverpool to chelsea, anyway chelsea you better finish your journey by beating man utd in Moscow.

down to business, what's new guys? it's the same shit I'm gonna post about. What can I do?

Well, the point is, this time it's different.
She is attached, not to me obviously.
Sometimes you wonder? can things get any worse? You bet it can.
I accept the fact that they're together, but not the fact to let her go.
well this is a very personal opinion.
I have this impression that she, seems to be the one who likes him more than he does.
well, that is fine if he feels the same way, but apparently from what I concluded, I don't think he does half as much as her. I may be wrong and who the fuck am I to conclude anything between them. Cheers for the time, advices are always welcome.

Muchas Gracias,
ciao,
Jerome

FUCK EVERYTHING

2008-04-24T20:48:00.002+08:00

FUCK MY PREVIOUS POSTS, I'VE HAD IT.

Love The Lady

2008-04-22T16:23:00.003+08:00

sup, yet another post regarding my endless journey. I have made a decision, and it is for us to continue being how we use to be momentarily. I always thought, if I didn't have her as my special person, I'd rather fuck the term of a friend.

well it is pretty obvious that she isn't just another girl I'm going after as some of my mates might know of. I never put in any effort in chasing girls till I met her. I managed to put her off my mind for the past week or so which I tell you wasn't a damn bit easy.

yesterday night was the first msg in awhile and I was glad she replied me. The strangest part is, she acts relatively calm when she replies me. I notice that I have yet to ever say that I love her though all my posts are all about her and my interest in her.

during that past week or so was hard, this girl who caught my attention, which really made me ponder and consider my options whether it was time to let go. somehow, something in me held me back. well, that I would say proves many things.

words with a hidden meaning,
a secret code?
It's all happening now.

Ciao, Gracias.

Jerome

It's ending

2008-04-18T13:15:00.003+08:00

sup, this might be my last post for a very very long time. The special one to me has seen my blog and she feels that it isn't possible. I've been told by her to move on, well frankly I can't, but rest assured there will be no pressure on you. I won't pester or cling on to you.

I'm gonna do some reflecting to consider what is my best option at this point in time, I should be worrying about my exams at this very moment but I'm caught in another situation. I am not blaming anybody, I brought this upon myself. I was the one that fell for you, you didn't make me. I'll be fine and I hope you'll be too.

ciao
goodbye.

Jerome

With You

2008-04-15T21:51:00.003+08:00

sup, didn't blog for ages, really too lazy. Anyway I've been playing football pratically everyday for the past 2 weeks, physically drained. So it has been school, home and sleep for the past few days.

Chatting with that special one now, and I went to her concert at the esplanade recently which was tremendously entertaining, a eye opener I would say, though you could see her nerves wrecking up. That's all for today, till I feel like blogging again. cheers

Still waiting for the day to be With You

Lux Aeterna

2008-03-31T18:53:00.004+08:00

Liverpool 1 Everton 0, Fernando Torres.

What a First Season Torres is having, come on Arsenal We'll TAKE YOU DOWN.

sup, stayed home today, didn't go to school was pretty damn tired. Watching movies the whole afternoon, planning to catch Lord Of The Rings Two Towers after posting this. went out on friday with nic and ting feng to have dinner, played some pool after that. ting feng recieved a call from a witheld number and got fucked by the person, saying that he(ting feng) thought he was a very "big" guy in school.

pretty stupid stuff, and nic suggested to call the police and that guy hanged up, well ting feng you should have expected this to come. You mess with the wrong girls, the wrong people and you are always putting on a mask when you are with girls, and the ironic part is ting feng told his friend that the guy said that "all" of them thought they were very "big", what a lie.

I told him not to lie to his friend, ting feng you're being an asshole to say that, I've already fucked you yesterday and I hope you learn from it, your mouth will cause plenty of unesseccary trouble.

It's a pussies way of getting out of trouble by bringing your friend in it. Learn boy, learn. stop being the asshole you are, as much as a friend you are to me, somethings have to be said for you to reflect. thats all the story I will post, Reflect you fucking wanker.

ciao, thanks for the time.

Smooth

2008-03-24T21:34:00.003+08:00

sup, suddenly it's just like normal again, well I don't know whats going on. Anyway, I'm smiling and thats the most important. Anyway, FUCK MAN U, cause Liverpool were somewhat unlucky though the whole team didn't perform as well. COME ON YOU SCOUSERS! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE. we'll kick everton's ass next week. Played football afterschool and won the rival class, I was running all over trying my best to keep my class in it, some of my players just are not playing with their heart, well since I'm a football enthusiast, I always take pride in every game I play and win. I'm very hooked on clubbing lately, GIRLS ARE SMOKIN HOT. Yeah babe thats what I'm talking about, get LOW, move your BODY, shake that ARSE!

Back to the old times

2008-03-19T21:42:00.004+08:00

I'm back smoking again, which shows how weak I am mentally. well, its my life and my own money I'm messing with. okay anyway, I'm seriously wasting my life away day by day, fucked in my studies, pissing my parents off and really not achieving anything. I just lost all motivations in my life, nothing motivates me, cause all that is on my mind is just trying to be with her one day.

It's really messed up in me, I try to change, I try to pray, but it all falls back to the old self. I believe God is trying to help me but perhaps he doesn't see any real effort in me to change. I can't help myself, I'm in a shithole now, I need something in my life that I can hold on to and motivate me in everything I do, wasting my life away isn't a very smart thing to do. My mum is always trying to help me, but well I always tend to disagree with all the small nibbly things she does, I appericiate everything she does for me, it's just that I don't show it.

Anyway, wanting her so badly has really fucked my own life up, I can't blame anyone on my helpless plight, I think about her every single minute and I'm seriously not bringing this to a fucking cheesy blog or anything but seriously, she really holds a special place in me even though we don't see each other at all. I just need a chance to have a close relation with her before we can even build on. The fact is that, plainly I can't even achieve that and it hurts real bad. Thinking of her every single time and yet not able to be even half as close with her as I want to be. I'll just have to carry on being in this fucked up state of me till I find that motivation in life to bring me to a brighter tomorrow.

ciao mates, thanks for the time.

Long awaited Return

2008-03-16T21:25:00.002+08:00

sup, its been awhile since I posted anything on the blog, anyway I'm glad she returned safetly back to Singapore.

ciao.

Goodbye, Girl.

2008-03-04T20:55:00.008+08:00

sup, at this very moment I'm blogging now, she is on her way to Changi Airport. she is departing Singapore to New York at midnight. She'll only be back on the 15 march, May god grant her a safe and pleasant trip. I'm flying off next week as well.

Enjoy yourself girl. It's gonna take her about 18 hrs to reach New York and it's gonna be at a temperature of 12 degrees Celsius the moment she touches down in New York. which is tomorrow and it might be raining there. We will be seperated by a distance of 9537 miles or 15348 kilometers. The incredible distance between Singapore and New York. God please keep her away from getting a cold and protect her from any threats she might face. Sleep tight and Sweet dreams every night. I'll miss you.

Till then,
Ciao, Bon Voyage. New York City

Starry Starry Night

2008-03-01T23:04:00.004+08:00

sup, don't really have much to write about, just wishing the day that I've been waiting for will come sooner. cheers.

Starry, starry night.Paint your palette blue and grey,Look out on a summer's day,With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.Shadows on the hills,Sketch the trees and the daffodils,Catch the breeze and the winter chills,In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,How you suffered for your sanity,How you tried to set them free.They would not listen, they did not know how.Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,Swirling clouds in violet haze,Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,Weathered faces lined in pain,Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,How you suffered for your sanity,How you tried to set them free.They would not listen, they did not know how.Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,But still your love was true.And when no hope was left in sight.On that starry, starry night,You took your life, as lovers often do.But I could have told you, Vincent,This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.Portraits hung in empty halls,Frameless head on nameless walls,With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.Like the strangers that you've met,The ragged men in the ragged clothes,The silver thorn of bloody rose,Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,How you suffered for your sanity,How you tried to set them free.They would not listen, they're not listening still.Perhaps they never will...

Fcuked, again

2008-02-28T20:17:00.003+08:00

sup, well things are not back to normal as I mentioned earlier. It is just as screwed as it was in the first post. Anyway I'm losing her, really and it burns me.

cause the fact knowing that I can't see her, can't have a decent conversation without being interrupted by her projects and can't do a FUCK about anything. At this moment in time while I'm posting this, she might be on the phone with a guy who is trying to hook up with her and I can't do fuck about it. I don't know, I'm paranoid I'm screwed in my mind. But I'm not gonna act like I'm in depression mode or something. I'll just have to pull my carcass through this shit and get on with life.

well if she only knew how much I was into her. God have mercy on my soul.

ciao.

T90 Jerome Accuracy

2008-02-26T22:02:00.007+08:00

NOW THATS WHAT YOU CALL

ACCURATE

Resilience

2008-02-25T22:25:00.005+08:00

To Arsenal's Striker Eduardo Da Silva, You will be in my prayers, Wishing you a speedy and good recovery from your horrific injury.

sup, things have resumed back to normal, which is great. I've been sleeping pretty much this few days. Started msging her again, and I sensed a great lift in my spirit. I'm gonna spend some time on my ps2 to pass through the night.

Sheena you're full of FCUK. She is just my mate, not the girl.

Cheers, ciao.

Live Or Die, Make Your Choice

2008-02-22T21:22:00.004+08:00

sup, pretty messed up today, broke the fucking lamp post cover while playing football in school.

anyway, so I know that it's gonna be real hard giving my all to her, for someone like me. Well I can't help that but notice that there is so many girls, and all that is needed for me to do is to put in alittle effort and I got them, but well it's really screwed up in my head to say the least. I'm trying as hard as hell, and hopefully shes got the damn msg which I was trying to put it across for the last 2 months.

as much as I try, she has to do something to keep me going, agree? If shes gonna fucking treat me like she does (well not saying that she treats me horribly, but I just expect more), I'll lose the battle one day. May God Have Pity On My Soul.

ciao, thanks for the time.

Pyro

2008-02-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

sup, I don't wanna make it a "dead" blog by posting all of my inner feelings but well, fuck that. ha isn't it meant to help me relieve out the shit in me?

well, 2 days gone and I still have yet to msg her or anything. I don't wanna force the issue and its not the right time now. So I'll wait till she has sorted out her thinking. Its not that we quarrelled or anything, its like kinda of a natural course. Perhaps she was giving me a hint to tell me that she was busy, and to her delight I've read it. Can't wait till we get back to talking terms and stuff.
On to more pratical stuff,

did a little pyro tests in class and that was about the only thing today that is worth mentioning, and there is just something about this word that makes me react strangely "come". Everytime a teacher uses the word "come", I'll ask "cum where"? If you get you get it, if you don't, well you don't.

ciao cheers

Fate

2008-02-20T18:25:00.007+08:00

Day 2 of my blog,

sup, for all Liverpool Supporters, We Did It. Liverpool 2 Inter Milan 0 You'll Never Walk Alone.

alright down to more general stuff, well didn't really do anything out of the ordinary today. I've thought about it ( the girl ) and I've decided that every thing really takes time. I believe something will happen if I just cling on to whatever hope there is. Well its worth the shot, to me at least.

well some of my mates might know, I was a player(playboy) and some people might think that I'm exagerrating my current state of situation, but it is really hard for someone like me to wait for a girl. Well if you want to accquire something special, ( her ) you just have to try as hard as you can. Go as far as you can. There is really just something about you that draws me real close. I don't wanna sound cheesy or corny but girl, if Fate brings you to this blog one day, you'll understand why I said you were special, I meant it.

guess this is as much as I'm going today.
ciao, thanks for the time again.

It's Time

2008-02-19T17:04:00.002+08:00

sup, this is the first "blog" I've ever created. I always thought blogging was a waste of time and i still do, but perhaps the things inside of me are just too hard to be kept. So where do i start?

so I'll begin with my first "post".

this is really what bothered me, this girl I came to know of few months back from a friend. What about her?
well we started off chatting on msn.( personally, chatting on friendster comments is fucking dumb, just add up on msn ) I added her on msn, and it was like any normal conversation anyone would have. After about a week of chatting, I decided to know her alittle better, so I didn't hesitate to ask more about her. She wasn't really open then, well thats what girls are when they don't really know you. It seriously takes time to get girls to open up, and yes I understand their mindset, so I didn't expect too much considering our 2nd week knowing one another.

while all our conversation took place, I realised that I was starting to get interested in her. So I chatted with her at every opportunity I had, but what I didn't realised was, she was already on the verge of getting together with another guy. It was only when I went to her blog that all this came to me. I wasn't in Love with her, and I personally don't believe at my age I know what Love really means, but I was pretty much hurt when the inevitable happened at they got together. I wasn't in Love with her, but I would say very interested.

so I broked down when it happened. They being together meant, I might not have a chance in establishing a better "connection" with her. Waiting was for her was always on my mind, but persuasion from my mates really made my thoughts unsure. Was she worth the wait? My mates wasn't really convince that she was worth it. So I told them it was worth a shot, and I did. Guess what? 2 weeks later, they broke up. Was I glad? you bet I was. I wasn't praying for that though.

I was there for her the moment it happened, cause I wanted her to feel that someone was gonna be there for her to pick her up whenever she falls. As it was only 2 weeks, the impact on her wasn't that great. So she got on with her life and so did I. After all this was settled, we became great chatting buddies online and messaging one another on the phone. Then during the month of January, I even felt that something might even happen between us that will bring us to more then just chatting buddies. I had serious hope for something wonderful to happen.

I would say we were pretty close for the whole month of January. Msgs were flying around to one another. I gave her hints that I was attracted to her, whether she understood them, God knows. So why the sudden thought of getting a blog? Recently, she has stopped all her msging with me on the phone and chatting on msn. Is the rollercoaster ride starting all over again? I hoped not, but I was to be proven wrong. After visiting her blog last night, I saw something that gave me the exact same feeling 2 and a half months ago. The feeling was fucked. It appeared that she might have found another someone who holds a greater place in her heart than me. I forgot to include that she isn't even in my school. So getting to meet her was pratically impossible with all her tight schedule.

Is everything gonna happen all over again I ask myself. How will I pick myself up this time. It hasn't been a easy journey for me. Its the exact feeling of De Javu.

Thats all the time I got today,
Ciao thanks for the time.